This Sunday we will be celebrating the wonderful gift of fatherhood. We invite you all to come and share with us in this special service.

God bless

On the 9th of June, we will be having an inaugural celebration service. The service will be open to friends, members and relatives of the church and will give thanks to God for his faithfulness to the church over the years and for leading us to a new location in Cheshunt.

Please come along with friends, colleagues and family and worship with us at:

Beaufort Suite, Bishop’s College, Churchgate, Cheshunt, EN8 9XE

11.00 -1.00PM

Hebrew Tutorials

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZSssTQIeLI  Lesson 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBhjQh9Av20 Lesson 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUGGPD0dBNU Lesson 4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZMIHzpdYic    Lesson 5

On Sunday May 19th, the Church will be ‘road-testing’ a new building in Cheshunt. The venue is located adjacent to Broxbourne Borough Council in:

the Beaufort Suite, Bishop’s College, Churchgate, Cheshunt, EN8 9XQ.

As you enter the main entrance, veer left and the halls will be visible. There is free parking onsite.

We will be meeting at 11.00 am and finishing at 1.00pm. Please come along and experience the building in order to determine its suitability for the church

If you think that you have the intelligence or strength to bring up a child or children by yourself then you are dead wrong-you don’t.

Children don’t come to you, they come through you. They belong to God, were created by God and only he understands them. To leave God out of the equation is to make a fatal mistake. God not only wants to be involved but expects to be involved in the children’s development. Every new parent will therefore learn at an early stage or in the early years of a child’s life that praying to God about the children that he has entrusted you with is essential.

Praying to God is a time to ask for strength, wisdom, patience, and guidance. The bible says ‘train up a child in the way he should go.’ (proverbs). Every child has a different personality, a bent. Often parents try to live their lives through the child and forcing them into careers or pathways that they should never go. This only frustrates and ultimately damages the child. A parent should accept the child’s gifting whether that be music, poetry, science or religious studies and encourage the child to go there whether or not it is a lucrative profession. The child will be genuinely happy and fulfilled.

The Apostle, Paul tells us in Ephesians 6 tells us not to ‘provoke our children’. We can work against God’s purposes and our prayers by constantly provoking our children. Parents can become ‘locked-in’ to a commanding voice and a bossy personality as the years go by. This is because they don’t feel that they have the time or energy to explain things and simply want things done. They may also feel that they cannot show the child any sign of weakness unless the child takes advantage of it. They want the child to take them seriously or even be afraid of them.

The downfall of this policy is that, as the bible says, the children become discouraged and don’t fulfill their potential. Children may also grow up to hate their parents and so the parent can lose everything they have worked for. Most parents mean well and are genuinely good people but often allow the cares of life to change them into irritable, impatient and domineering characters in relation to their children.

We must cast our cares upon the Lord and allow him to minister to us so that despite all we go through we can still be joyful, happy, and fulfilled as parents. We must declare by faith ‘these are the kids that God has given me and I WILL enjoy them’ in Jesus name.

ARTICLE FOUR- SINGLENESS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR PRODUCTIVITY AND SUCCESS

The single years of a person’s life are some of the most productive years. For a man who is looking to be married, he should focus on achieving enough success to be able to support a wife and potentially a family. This may mean acquiring qualifications and gaining a decent job. Sometimes men do things in reverse order. Instead of achieving success, they focus on chasing women. What tends to happen is that the relationship(s) do not lead anywhere and are not based upon true love or commitment. They are like bees going from flower to flower and setting a bad precedent for any future marriage.

Women like security – even in these modern times. They may not necessarily want a man who can’t provide for them, one who has to travel around on the bus with the family or who can only promise a rented room for the family to live in-despite how much he may be loved. Women especially feel anxious about a man who can’t commit to a long-term relationship or who can’t say where the relationship is going. They also want to know where he is going, what is his ambition – if any! Before thinking about marriage a person should be whole (but not perfect) Some people think that the person who they will settle down with completes them. On the contrary, you should be complete and whole before considering marriage. Your marriage partner extends you further than you could have imagined. There are therefore traits which one should have overcome before considering marriage and they differ slightly between male and females.

Traits that good spiritual men should try to overcome before considering marriage:

Selfishness, chauvinism, laziness, lack of ambition, unforgiveness, crudeness, sexism, anger, irritability, lack of generosity/self-sacrifice, lack of decisiveness, lack of affection, lack of communication, lack of leadership, domineering attitude, flirtatious, immaturity, faithfulness etc. etc.

And some that women should try to overcome too:

Feminist attitudes, manipulation, neediness, selfishness, unforgiveness, irritability, anger, nagging and worry, criticism, gossip, flirtatiousness, faithfulness, jealousy, honesty etc. etc.

You can pray and pray for a good husband or wife for a long time but God will not send anyone to you to be hurt or discouraged by dysfuncyionality or a bad attitude. Once you address many of the areas in the lists above, God will be happy to send a good man or woman to you and prayers will be answered sooner…..Amen

Becoming a parent and raising a child is a new experience. Parents also grow in the same way that a new child does. We learn quickly, we make mistakes and fall down as we try to walk as parents and we need help and advice; we need to ask questions.

A parent quickly learns that the centre of gravity in the relationship has changed as the time and energy which is required to look after young children takes time away from the marital relationship. An obvious failing for many couples is spending all their time on the children and none on each other. Time with each other will have to be scheduled and prioritised in order to keep a proper balance. New parents will also soon realise the amount of responsibility both legal, social and spiritual that comes with children. They must be educated, provided-for and protected. Neglect in these areas will incur the displeasure of the social services and could result in children being taken away.

Parenthood therefore teaches love and self-sacrifice its truest form. The decisions that one could take as a single man will often have to be discussed with another. The money that one would have spent on clothing or other fine things will often be now dedicated to the house, children and family. Most importantly, the time that one may have had as a singleton will almost evaporate overnight as a new reality, a new responsibility begins to dawn. It has been said that many relations fade when moonlight and star-dust turn into daylight and dishes. Unless parents can grasp the joy in serving, raising a life, looking after a life that God has committed to you and taking the necessary pains and struggles, parenthood will become a pain rather than a privilege.

QUESTIONS AND PROJECTS

How much time do you spend talking/reading with your children?

Being a single parent can be especially challenging. How much time to you spend on yourself?

Do you take time to read a brief guide/book on parenting from a responsible source?

Do you know how and when to ask help of others or is this an issue?

Do you have someone you can trust with your children? It is often said ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ . Are there others who can talk sense to your children?

ARTICLE THREE – LOVE COMES OUT OF FRIENDSHIP

‘a man who gains friends must first be friendly’ (Proverbs 18:22)

Everyone has friends of some sort whether they be close friends, work friends or people we simply say hello to occasionally. We also have ‘facebook’ and ‘blackberry’ friends in this age of social networking.

Friendship is also the ideal basis for forming relationships between the sexes. The modern party culture can encourage men and women to simply meet, have sex and go their separate ways – often without catching the other person’s name! Before a relationship can emerge you should take time to understand the person, to know the person, to observe the person.  You may already have been working with or associated with a person for a while in a church, school or other place such as a university and are beginning to develop some feelings for them.

WHAT NEXT?

Usually the man initiates the relationship although women are tending to do this just as much today. It is always wise to make sure that you have prayed about initiating any form of contact with regard to forming a relationship. You may also wish to confide in a few close, wise and trusted friends who often can recommend and give advice -they may also know things that you don’t and actively discourage the relationship! Their input is valuable.

When I was thinking about the relationship with my wife, I had to look for the hand of God in everything. Were there signs on the ground of God encouraging it? In fact there were plenty of signs from God saying ‘go ahead’ I also asked a few trusted friends what kind of person they thought she was and they couldn’t speak highly enough of her.

If the person is right for you, God will also work on their heart in terms of being receptive to a future approach. They may have to go away and pray about it for a while but, if they are listening to God, the answer will be positive. Relationships are also based on attraction and God knows what kind of person you will find interesting-he wouldn’t give you someone who you really didn’t like the look of (or couldn’t learn to like the look of!)

THE APPROACH

Eventually, it is down to you to consider the best approach. Some people used to write a letter in days gone by. Others express interest using a third party and some go directly to the person and let them know that their feelings are going beyond friendship and that they are falling in love. This conversation is easily one of the most intimidating conversations that you will have. There is a danger that it will spell the end of a friendship. There is the fear of rejection and ‘missing’ God’s will; there is the possibility of embarrassment. Some who have experienced this feeling are reluctant to be hurt again, however it would be a mistake to give up because of this. It is often said ‘God won’t chat someone up for you’. It may simply be that a better approach is necessary; that you are moving too quickly without establishing friendship or some other lapse- fortune favors the brave.

On our wedding program, there were the words ‘today I marry my friend’ written just below the main picture. We had courted, we had got to know each other -good things and bad -we had decided that it was God’s will and that we genuinely liked one another. That is the basis of a good marriage.

You are now officially a parent. You are holding a new baby in your hands and the joy seems overwhelming. The weight of responsibility is awesome.

When my wife was pregnant, I would come home from work and go straight to the hospital every day of the last few weeks as she was admitted early. One of the first challenges was preparing the house to perfection in anticipation of the baby coming home. The house was decorated, the lawn was mowed and the everything was ready for the grand arrival.

There was also the research and reading; the ante-natal classes and information gathering to make sure that we were equipped to properly handle a new baby. Mothers and  experienced women had many valuable tips and stories about successfully raising children and we were willing to learn. People often say that babies don’t come with instruction manuals but there are many instruction manuals about babies and a good parent will naturally want to prepare in advance as much as possible.

STAMINA

Many new parents don’t appreciate the amount of time that will be required to take care of a new baby – especially if the baby has any issues such as restlessness etc. Parents may be required to wake up several times a night to attend the baby and soon find that they need to take turns. They often take turns changing nappies as new babies may need changing five or more times a day. This may be unromantic but the couple are learning the very first lessons of love -supporting one another in the trenches. They are a ‘tag-team’ and when one gets tired they tap the other to take over while they recover.

QUESTIONS AND PROJECTS

Are you and your husband a good ‘tag-team’?

How do you communicate your tiredness?

Do you have adequate help and advice in raising a small child/baby?

Do you pray for your child daily?